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EXPRESSING YOUR OPINION. I/It + verb I think / consider / find / feel / believe / suppose / presume / assume that I would say that I have the feeling that.
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That does not mean you have to agree, just that you're open to hearing them out. Look beyond your own triggers.

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Many disagreements stem from someone being triggered by something that's been said. What's triggered is usually fear and awareness of one's limitations.

Disagreement Quotes - BrainyQuote

Whatever may have happened in your past, you have to find a way to get past your triggers and see that you're in a new situation with a person who doesn't mean you harm. Look for similarities, not differences. From working with my clients, I've found that the best way to begin resolving a disagreement is to look for common ground. When you concentrate on differences the space grows wider, but when you seek out what you have in common it helps bridge the gap.

The next time you find yourself in a disagreement, look for a point of agreement--even if you have to stretch. Be a good listener. In any disagreement, it's important for both parties to be heard. And that means it's important to be a good listener-- curious, open minded and nonjudgmental. A good listener gives their full attention, asks for clarification when necessary, and can listen to different opinions without becoming defensive or argumentative.

The best way to listen is to be silent. That's when you can learn. Take responsibility for your own feelings.


Especially in heated disagreements, it's easy to start making accusations, laying blame and making excuses. To work through it, you have to be honest with yourself and take full responsibility for your own feelings, and for your interpretations that may have contributed to the breakdown. Make a commitment. At first I thought the issue had to do with our relationship. I took it personally. Why is she always opposed to my ideas? Usually we think of disagreement and agreement as a fifty-fifty split.

The assumption that agreement and disagreement are split fifty-fifty is an example of what statisticians call the naive definition of probability. Either outcome, heads or tails, is equally likely. That's not how probability works.

Agreement/Disagreement Datasets

We have to look at how likely each outcome is on its own. So how likely are agreement and disagreement on their own? What if, instead, we ask which is your favorite flavor out of out all possible flavors? With an open ended question like this, agreement becomes way less likely than disagreement. One person might say chocolate, but the next might choose peanut butter banana, and the next might choose strawberry. Disagreement is the default. The problem with using the naive model of agreement is that we use it to categorize people into on-our-side and not-on-our-side.

The more complicated the subject, the more likely that people disagree about it. When I changed my model of disagreement, then it changed the way I related to my advisor. It was because the problem that we were trying to solve was complicated. Disagreement is the default setting, and agreement is something that you have to work towards. Thanks for the perspective. Still think there are people out there who are natural contrarians that just love to argue.

Disagreement isn't about taking sides. It's about probability.

In my opinion - feel free to disagree :D - there is one missing piece of information in this article that would add depth to it. People's receptivity to a different viewpoint helps to understand their behavior and motives. Do they give your view consideration? Do they disregard it entirely and try to force their opinion down your throat as The Truth?

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The premise of your column is that we agree on the criteria that determines a good solution, the variables that are involved, and how they are structured. People do not agree on something as simple as fishing with a net. After the net is pulled from the water, most focus on the rungs and the fish you caught. A few focus on the holes and the ones that got away.

Now, consider the following information from Ken Cloke, a world renowned mediator and peacemaker:. Out of the need for safe haven develops the need for discipline, the language of leadership, the encroachment of military terms on literally every area of life. He wrote an essay called eternal fascism. What is it that dialogue does?

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It makes complex thought and complex ideas possible. It brings together people who have created a fear-based opposition to each other. In addition to domination, there is a psychological reason why democracy is frightening to people who are afraid of each other. The more complex you are as a people, the more likely it is that you are going to be excluded. Jews we can say are complex. African Americans are complex. Women are complex. Homosexuals are complex.

Conservatives are trying to stop political conflicts by eliminating diversity, which has the added benefit of allowing you to become part of the dominant group. Everyone competes to be part of the dominant group.